Pictures of 2008

I have been motivated by Sadie & Higs and their 2008 favorites post series so I am doing one of my own - FAR less superior!!

Derek and his little girl ... I absolutely adore watching them together! Napping on Christmas day
Brand-new baby!

Kisses for the belly! Josie and Lex at Xmas exactly one month difference in age!
Me and Erin trying to feel Josie kick after our baby shower!

Martha Stewart can kiss my ass I am THEE Suzy Homemaker!

One of my favorite Maternity Shots!

I have an obsession with hands!

Truly my best friend ... We are 100% dorks!Our first family picture! Josie's first "Self-Take"

Hope you enjoyed they aren't anything surprising but maybe tomorrow I'll post some older photos that are in my favorites!!

xoxox

Amazingly not that bad!

So right now my little girl is laying in her crib gnawing the crap out her hand (her teeth are bothering her today) She looks so cute as I sit in the hallway (yes still) and watch her. Her motor skills are getting MUCH better - She is still a little woobaly (yes I make up my own words - suck it!) when we sit her up but she'll hold onto your fingers and give it her best try. She is however nowhere NEAR interested in bearing weight on her legs (not that I expect her to!) She can do a mini-push up and hold herself up on her forearms so she's getting there!

As for last night. drum roll please! .......

She did wake up at 3:45ish (when Derek got back from work) but never cried we could just see her in the monitor or I would have never known. Derek went in and changed her and brought her out to eat since it had been over 10 hours since she had ate last and I knew if he laid her back down she'd just want to eat soon anyways. So I fed her and went back to bed. She woke up at 7:00 hungry, I feed her and she went back to bed til 9:00. We woke up and started our day. She hasn't taken another morning nap yet and I don't think she will. So all in all not waking her wasn't a bad idea considering I got up when Derek got home anyways.

I have to work a banquet tonight, I go in around 5:30 and I probably won't be back until 10ish.... BLEH!

I need to pump again soon and see how much milk I have for her for tonight - cross your fingers that its enough. Damn pumping sucks!

... welp the sucking has stopped and I guess she is going to take a morning nap so I am going to get off and get some stuff done before she wakes up again to eat!

xoxox

GoodNight :)

Well Im gonna see if I can go to sleep .... everyone cross your fingers that I am not up at 4 or 5 am with a crying baby!!!

Lets pray for 8 or 9 (hahahah yea right!)

xoxox

Ugh- what to do... what to do!!!

So I'm not going to wake Jossalyn up... yet I just can't pull myself to do it. First off all she looks so peaceful sleeping and secondly I just don't want to have to face the consequences if I wake up a monster!

I am really hungry but don't know what to make for dinner .... grrr anyone?! Making something healthy sucks and its just me so that's even worse. I could always go for my staple of waffles or hot dogs and butter noodles!

Derek won't be back to almost 3 am probably and I still have to be awake for a few more hours because I have to get at least one more good pump in before I go to sleep. I set an alarm every night to try and wake me up to pump but I can never pull myself out of bed to actually do so but as we stand right now I only have 3 bottles for tomorrow night and I at least need 5 so... awake I stay!

I think I am falling more and more and more in love with my little one each time I feed her. At first like I have said before nursing was very difficult for me even though I from day 1 was very adamant about doing so. Not physically but emotionally. I felt very sheltered and very stuck (maybe that's the right word but it doesn't seem strong enough) by breastfeeding and actually had a breakdown and cried for a few days every night around week 4 of doing so. I was diagnosed with a slight condition of PPD and am in a study for Post Pardum Depression through the hospital but truthfully I feel wonderful now. I still have bummed out times but this is LIFE ALTERING who isn't going to be emotional?! Anyways back on track... I feel apart and weeped to Derek in the freezing cold out on the porch and felt so much better after I did so. I just couldn't handle it. But I made it through that and I am so relieved that I did. I adore sitting with her now. I'm starting to "melt" when I stare into her eyes and now she is getting better motor control over her arms/hands she "pets" me while she is eating. She just lays her hand on my chest and pets the bottom of my neck (where that dent is) its actually the most loving thing she can probably do at this point but it just seems to me that she is so comfortable with me and i image her thinking "ahhh mommy" when shes doing so.....

xoxox

Home Alone ... well not really.

Home alone with Josiebe. Derek is off to work... yes work and I'm home with our little girl while Bethany and Melissa work Octane tonight. *I don't have enough pumped to go work and its WAY to cold to take her down there, even without the smoke*

I promised myself I was gonna MEGA clean the house tonight so I could just relax on Sunday (my day off) but so far I'm being pretty lazy. I did get the kitchen done, minus washing bottles that I'll need to fill tonight for tomorrow when I'm at work and I didn't mop the floor but that's because there's a pile of stuff that needs taken down *ahem Derek* to the basement from Christmas before I do that. I also got the living room picked up and swiftered but not mopped because well I'm too lazy! There I said it!

I am however worried that Josie has been asleep since well... 5 or 6 instead of her normal 8 or 9 bedtime, does this mean I am going to be up at 4 instead of 7 am :( boooo on that! I may have to wake her up deliberately (i know i know NEVER wake a sleeping baby) and give her a bath and play for a little bit before I go to put her to bed again so I can get some sleep.

I wanted to clean her room and get her clothes put away and vacuum and clean the bathroom but that will all have to wait. I will however put all of Derek and my clothes away because I'm sick of sorting through folded laundry baskets :P

Done pumping (aren't you glad you know that now!) so I'm gonna go take a break from cleaning before I get back into it :)

Seriously how could you NOT want to kiss those cheeks?!

xoxox

Finally...

We have the self-take thing down!!!I can say I finally FEEL like a mom. Its been a VERY hard time for me lately because I just haven't felt like I was 100% bonded with Josie. I always just kinda felt like her "caregiver" and not her "mommy". Well I can say having her get her shots on Monday did it for me. She SCREAMED so hard and I got all teared up and just scooped her up and hugged her and it hit me... this is it.

This is MY daughter.

I AM her mom!

I can't believe how big she is getting already. She LOVES to "talk" to you. Even Bev said she can't believe how vocal she is already. She coo's and half laughs (she has the 'ack' sound down but can't seem to bust out an entire laugh) and loves to talk to you or her mobile or her teddy bear.

We are going to have to stop wrapping her up to sleep at night soon and I'm not looking forward to that since we are officially STTN (knock on wood) usually 8 or 9 pm until 7 or 8 am. Her naps are still not great but hey I guess its either one of the other.

We did however nap together and this is what I woke up to; Derek had taken a photo on my phone and laid it next to me... soo cute. Yes, I ALWAYS sleep with my mouth open. Yep I look awful but hey I'm working on that!
I have to hurry up and throw the dishes in the dishwasher before Derek gets home from hockey so we can give her a bath before her bedtime tonight. I need to do a bunch of other junk too but I probably won't =P

xoxox

Boobie Laughs!

Or what was close enough to a laugh.

It was at 8 am this morning when I went to feed JuJuBe for the first time I got her out of her crib, changed her, and then we sat in our chair. By this time she was screaming because she was so hungry and ready to eat (she sleeps through the night and feel asleep around 7:30 the night before). I laid her sideways across my belly on top of a boppy and was getting ready.

Well I pull my shirt up and "get myself ready" and she instantly whips out a HUGE full mouth smile and busts out this noise that I am calling a laugh or close enough to one. It was so cute.

It was like she was saying "OH THANK GOD!"

I can't wait for her to actually just giggling!!

Oh and BTW: She had a check-up this morning and she's officially 22 inches and 10.10lbs!!

xoxox

Forgot I had pictures on my Storm!

Here are 2 others from New Years Eve:

Napping on Aunt Bethany - her hands are too cute!

Using fuzzy socks as mittens - she was in such a good mood. The TV totally had her attention!

xoxox

Click.Click.Click.Click

I thought I would start this post of with a quick view of how much my little one has changed already.

Less than 1 hour old:

1 day old:
1 month old:

2 months old:

Yep the computer wasn't moved but I figured if the "click click click click" of the guitar hero guitar next to me isn't waking Jossalyn up then I should be remotely safe typing.

Today was one of the hardest days we have had so far. Josiebe is teething already.. yep its crazy I know but its there trying to push through and well she is NOT happy about it. She would go from calm and happy to SCREAMING in pain in a matter of seconds.

She will be with my gram who she will be calling "MeMa" tomorrow while I am at work (11-4) so I am hoping she isn't too much to handle. Then I am off until Tuesday :) horray!

Life as a mommy is getting better, truly it is. As Derek puts it its getting more rewarding each day. She is starting to coo and trying to giggle more and more each day. She is starting to recognize us and our voices and even is starting to smile and look for us if she can't see us while we are talking. I can't say its easy, by god it isn't, and I am not going to lie I don't think its the best thing in the world yet but I can 100% say that I love her! She makes me feel complete.

I don't think I was a normal little girl, I never "dreamed" of my wedding or really ever wanted to be a mommy when I was little but I can say I am so-far happy with the way my life has turned out. Of course there are LOADS of things I would like to change but who doesn't!

Even though Derek thinks resolutions are dumb and says by March everyone forgets about them I have made a few... not really resolutions but guidelines for 2009-

• Go to Church as much as possible. I started this last year but when my morning sickness was at its worst I sorta stopped going so often. I enjoy church but not for the same reasons as most religious people (I am NOT claiming to be religious here) I go because it gives me a sense of "calm" it gives me time to reflect on my life and just to feel at peace even if just for that hour. I am an incredibly stressed person (even before lil' jo) so going to church and feeling that sense of calm is wonderful.

• Eat healthier and drink more water. This is primarily for my milk supply right now bc I am praying I can make it an entire year breastfeeding but sometimes I doubt myself and if I can keep my supply up and even over what I need then it will be easier. Also I want to get healthier and back into shape so I can run around and play with jo when shes a toddler.

• Become financially "somewhat" stable! I hate money, I hate dealing with it, I hate not having it, I hate most of all how irresponsible I am with it!

I pretty much have us on a schedule, well as much of a schedule as a 2 month old can be on. She wakes up anywhere from 8-9 eats and then goes back in her crib for "her time" aka: breakfast for me and/or a shower. Yes 'or' I don't get the luxury of bathing daily right now. Then she usually falls back to sleep after about an hour and will take her morning nap which can be 45min to 2 hrs. She wakes up and she eats every 2 hours. She will take another 1 or 2 afternoon naps but they suck and are usually only 30 mins. She takes (sometimes) a good nighttime nap around 4/5 that can be up to 2 hours. She gets a bath every 2 nights and our nighttime routine starts around 7:30. Its bath, lotion, pj's, eat, read a book, bed. Shes usually done around 9 and is out til morning. Now this isn't stone and by all means she'll throw a wrench in it when I think we are golden and we'll have a bad day but hey its okay.

I don't really have much else to say I'm in a good mood but I have to go put laundry away and I'm gonna go watch Der play some more Guitar Hero before I have to pump and get ready for my own bedtime. No dishes for me to do, Derek did them tonight :)

xoxox

What a party animal we have... here's Jossalyn's first picture in 2009. The 3 of us spent the evening with Bethany & Melissa. We had dinner and then Derek & Bethany battled it out in Guitar Hero for almost 4 hours!

Happy 2009 everyone, hopefully today we are moving the computer so I'll actually be able to post a lengthy blog!!

xoxox